It's been almost a year since our cat Wylie passed away. And more than a year since V started pretending that she is a cat every day. She's normally such a happy little girl.
But occasionally she'll tear up when she thinks of Wylie. Then, like a dummy, I played the song Senor El Gato for her from a CD that we have. She wanted to hear it over and again.
There's a part in the song where the cat dies, but then comes back to life because of the smell of fish in the air. It's a purposely sad song with an unrealistic happy ending. Wylie can't come back, and so this song makes her cry. At a mere 4 years old she tells me that she likes listening to the song because it reminds her of Wylie and makes her cry.
I don't know what to think about that. Part of me wants to tell her to stop it and forbid her from listening to the song if it's going to upset her. I feel like my child shouldn't have a care in the world for several more years to come. But a larger part of me thinks that it's better to feel your feelings fully than to stuff them away.
So I put a limit of twice on the song when she wanted to hear it this morning. I told her that missing Wylie hurts, but one day it won't hurt so much and the good memories would be stronger than the bad. I hugged her and let her cry. Then we played some happy music and sang along.
And now she's upstairs playing happily with her train set.
(And just for the record, I wasn't taking pictures of her while talking about Wylie - no no no - this was later and there are quite a few others in the set where she's smiling. I just like this shot.)